Like with Callie's blog posts, I will update monthly for Bennett's first year. I've been assured that if I don't update, I will receive prodding from my adoring fans (read: my mother). And I wouldn't want Bennett to feel like the 2nd, neglected child, after all!
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| Being silly with big sister |
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| 1-month old! |
Stats: Bennett was born @ 8 lbs 5 oz, 21" tall. He spent several days tricking me into thinking he was breastfeeding well, but not actually eating anything at all. Apparently I was just a giant pacifier to him. By day 4, at our first Lactation visit, he had lost 9% of his body weight and was down to 7lb 6 oz. We made some adjustments to his feeding (see Diet) and he started to gain his weight back nicely. According to our home scale, he currently weighs about 10lbs! We won't have another official stats check until his 2-month visit.
Health: Bennett has the same plugged tear duct in his left eye that Callie did, but a warm washcloth usually takes care of the gunk. He's also a gassy little baby, and we're pretty sure all of the sleep issues we have (see Sleep) are due to his tummy troubles. We're trying all of the things - gentle formula, breastmilk with dietary changes, bicycle legs, upright feedings, burping frequently, simethicone drops, but he still has non-stop rumblies in his tumbly!
Sleep: When we first brought Bennett home, he would give us pretty long stretches at night. Around 4-5 hrs for the first stretch, and then about 3 hrs after that. Then he started to wake up, and get all gassy, and doesn't sleep as well. We will wake up to him grunting and farting, just waiting until he decides he's awake and hungry, or just needs to fart. Most of the time he's down for the night between 8-9 and will sleep until 1am or so. But sometimes (like last night) he's up at 1045, then 2am, then 330, then 5, then 7, and we go a bit insane. Hopefully, once his gut develops fully and figures itself out, we can all get a good night's sleep.
Clothes/Diaper Size: Currently in size 1 diapers, and either newborn or 0-3 mo clothing. We have been stretching out the days of newborn clothes. Some of them are so stinking precious, I don't ever want him to stop wearing them! But their days are numbered.
Diet: Ugh. I could write an entire post about our feeding woes. At our 4-day lactation visit, he had continued to lose weight post-hospital, and when we did the feeding at the visit, we took a weight before and after and he didn't gain anything. Meaning, he didn't eat anything. He breastfed for 20 minutes and didn't gain anything. Our LC was a bit stumped. His latch looked great, he didn't have a tongue-tie, and my milk had obviously started to come in. She said he was on the border of panicking as far as his weight loss, and so I was to feed him for 10-minutes on each side, then pump for 10 minutes and give him the pumped milk, and then to supplement with a bottle of formula until he wasn't screaming in hunger anymore.
Feeding him worked wonders. It turns out a fed baby is a happy baby. But continuing to breastfeed him didn't improve his intake. At our follow-up visit 2 days, and 4 days afterward, he still didn't have any weight changes after a feeding. The LC offered that boys are notoriously lazy eaters, and to pair that with a boy who'd been a week late and had that much extra time spoiled with an all-you-can-eat umbilical cord buffet, made Bennett even lazier.
Feeding him, then pumping, then bottle feeding him just wasn't a sustainable option for us. And when I breastfed him, he was just fussy and popped on and off constantly, and was a pretty miserable experience for both of us (not to mention the nipple pain from his tight newborn latch) so I decided to just pump and to bottle feed him pumped milk and formula.
My supply also never fully revved up. I was pumping 8 times a day, over 2 hours a day, and I was taking 21 supplements a day for over a week and didn't notice an increase at all, which was making me crazy. So I decided to wean down to something manageable for me. I'm currently pumping 3-4 sessions a day, depending on engorgement, and not going insane.
I did try breastfeeding again recently. Bennett will still latch, and pretend to feed for a little while, and he's calm during the session (probably because he's well fed otherwise). But then I was skipping pumping sessions because I assumed he was eating this time (which he wasn't), only to be engorged and plugged up a few hours later since I'd essentially missed a feeding. I'm not sure I want to keep trying to breastfeed him. I do miss the relationship/comfort/bonding, but it also feels pointless if he's not eating, so I'm less motivated to try.
And I'm finding I can bond with him during bottle feeding sessions, now that he's looking at me. I'm talking to him more and singing more. And we can still do skin to skin. I have daily bouts of feeling devastation at the loss of the relationship, only to turn around and feel relief that I'm not his only source of food, and I can sleep longer stretches at night while Bryann bottle feeds. I'm comforted slightly that at least one of his feedings is breastmilk, and I've frozen a few bags so that I can extend the amount of time he gets breastmilk. It's not that I think formula is bad or dangerous for him. It's mostly the relationship I'm grieving over losing. But I see that he's gaining weight, and developing as he should, and I think as time passes, and I see how he's growing no differently than Callie did, or any other breastfed baby, I will ease up on myself a little bit.
Baby Gear Love: The Ergo. Forevermore my favorite and most used baby item. We are also a bottle-loving family at this point and I have personally found a microwave bottle sterilizer indispensable. Among other frequently used items - Costco formula, baby swing, and velcro swaddlers.
Nicknames: We just call him Bennett pretty frequetly. But Benny-Bear came out a few times and I couldn't stop myself. It has begun. And it's my own fault. I was the first one to break. Otherwse, Baby Bennett is probably what Callie will call him for the foreseable future.
Favorite Songs/Lullabies: I haven't started singing him to sleep, so when I sing to him, it's mostly made-up songs about how much I love him, or how hungry he is, or how gassy he is.
Milestones/Firsts: He seems to have pretty good head strength. He picks up his head when we're burping him and trys to fling it off of his body. He also has been able to move his head from side to side during tummy time! He's more alert now and will look us in the eyes when we're feeding him, and he is starting to track when we move. He also responds and turns his head towards sounds.
Likes: Being held, being in the Ergo, bouncing, being fed.
Dislikes: Not being held, not being fed immediately, and having his clothes changed.
Things I Don't Want to Forget: He yawns just like Callie used to when she was an infant. He brings his hands up to his little head and leans back and makes the cutest squinchy face in the world. I'd almost forgotten Callie's yawn, until he was born and started doing it, and all of my memories came flooding back.
The way he nestles his little arms under him and leans his head on my chest and falls asleep after a feed and a good burp.
His little squeaks and sounds when he sleeps. Maybe I'll have the attention span to get a recording/video soon.
Bryann asked him during a feeding one time "Do you want more to eat?" and the way Bennett sighed/squealed in response sounded exactly like "Mmm-Hmm!"
