Week 14

Ok, I know I'm writing this a few days late, but I have lots of good excuses!  I'm scheduling the post for Friday 2/22, so if you're confused why you didn't get it emailed to you then, that's why.  :-)

I posted something earlier in the week, and that's what has been mainly going on as pregnancy news.  Life and work has started to get extremely busy.  Bryann is in class Thursday nights and all day Saturday, and is doing homework or in study groups for 2 or 3 additional nights a week on top of that.  I've been put in charge of the schedule for our training team, and I seem to also have become a confidant of one of my quasi-managers, so I've been working part-time from home on the schedule and keeping up with emails, and part-time in the hospital training classes - which is translating into a bit of overtime.  Plus, since Bryann is in classes on Saturdays, I've been volunteering myself to work Saturdays teaching class.

On top of our busy work schedules, we are in talks about selling our home this Spring, and purchasing another (bigger) house immediately after.  We had our Realtor over last weekend to talk logistics and it's looking like we're going to put the house on the market April 19th.  Hopefully it sells soon and we'll be in contract sometime in May, which puts our close date sometime mid-late June/early July.  So we've been trying to really pin down what we're looking for in our next home.  We're trying to stay open about the area we're looking to buy in, so we'll be better able to find the "perfect" house for us.

In the midst of all this, pregnancy symptoms have been pretty annoying.  I've been feeling way more sick than  previous weeks, and it's affected getting to a few classes on time in the mornings.  I've actually started vomiting and getting sick over smells.  Bryann was eating a chicken lean pocket and I came into the living room where he was finishing up his meal, smelled it, and ran to the sink to throw up.  New rule:  No chicken in the house!  :-)

What Baby T has been up to this week:  

• Baby is apparently the size of a lemon or my clenched fist (3.5 inches head to rump)
• Baby can make faces - squint, frown, grimace - and its head is sitting on top of a more defined neck
• Baby's body is growing to catch up with the head size.  Its arms are proportional to its body (the legs still have some growing to do)
• Baby is starting to grow some hair!
• The spleen is starting to produce red blood cells and the liver is producing bile

Pregnancy symptoms include:

• Nausea and vomiting - I've tried eating pretzels before I get up in the morning, but that just means I'm throwing up pretzels instead of bile
• Sensitivity to smells - which makes the nausea and vomiting worse
• Memory of weird smells also trigger nausea and vomiting - if I'm telling Bryann the story of my morning sickness, I get sick all over again just thinking about what made me sick in the first place

This week, I love to eat:

• Fruit
• Smoothies
• Soup
• Pizza
• Cheese and salsa quesadillas

This week, I feel nauseated at the thought of:

• Chicken
• Lamb - poor Bryann made a spectacular crock-pot lamb roast, and I couldn't eat it.  But I really enjoyed the potatoes and carrots that cooked along with the meat!
• Mexican food (no particular reason for this.  I just associate it with weird meat smells, and I get sick feeling)

Week 14

I think I look LESS pregnant in this picture than the previous week, but I think that's because this tank top is not as tight, and the rest of my stomach is starting to round out and it's not all concentrated in the lower gut region?  

Mid-Week 14 Reflection

Over the past few days, I've got a bit of awesome news, and a bit of awful news.  The awesome news:  I found out one of my good friends is pregnant, and I'm SUUUUUUUUPer excited about it!  The awful news:  I found out one of my old acquaintances was pregnant, but miscarried at 13 weeks, and I hurt for her.  I guess this is the constant battle and balancing act in life.

So in reflection, here's an excerpt from my favorite prose poet, Kahlil Gibran.  I love reading Gibran's works when I'm feeling like life is unfair.  His writing helps to remind me that life and everything in it is a constant cycle.  Every emotion or state of being has an equal and opposite, and we cannot feel one without the other, and so should be grateful for both.

On Joy and Sorrow

Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.

And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears. 

And how else can it be? 

The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain. 

Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven? 

And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives? 

When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy. 

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.  

Some of you say, "Joy is greater thar sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater." 

But I say unto you, they are inseparable. 

Together they come, and when one sits, alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.  

Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy. 

Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced. 

When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.

Week 13

I'm officially 13 weeks pregnant, in my 14th week, and finished with my first trimester!  (Crazy to think I'm in my second trimester...)  And aside from the morning sickness ramping up a notch and becoming slightly more violent, it's been a pretty boring week as far as my pregnancy goes.  I can start to feel my uterus coming up from behind my pubic bone, which is a little weird to poke at.  I wondered if I kept poking around at my uterus if I would hurt the baby.  I was poking around rather vigorously last night because I wanted to feel it, and then thought better of all the poking and decided to stop.  Also, Bryann disapproved, as he seems to of most things nowadays.  :-P

 I'm also getting noticeably (to me) rounder in the belly area, which I'm currently having a hard time with, because (again, to me) it just looks like I've put on weight and not like I'm pregnant.  I can feel my t-shirts rub on my stomach, which is a very strange sensation.  Bryann giggles with glee every time he looks at my stomach, and reassures me that I'm not fat, I'm pregnant.  But I think it's still going to be a struggle until I look more like there's a baby in there.  

Last night, Bryann put his ear up to my stomach to see if he could hear anything yet.  He thought he heard a heartbeat, but he couldn't decide if it was really was the baby or if his memory was just playing tricks on him.  I wish I were flexible enough to put my own ear up to my stomach and have a listen!  

What Baby T has been up to this week:  

• Eyes and ears are in place and tissue that will turn to bone is growing around it's head
• The head is more proportional now - about 1/3 of it's total body size
• Fingerprints are developing
• Baby is either the size of a peach, or the size of a large shrimp.  I think Baby as shrimp size is easier for me to handle, mentally.

Pregnancy symptoms include:

• Actually, aside from the morning sickness, I feel pretty good!

This week, I love to eat:

• Most anything.  I can't really identify any one thing I've craved this week, except...
• Hot cocoa - tea and coffee have been completely replaced.  I've never been a big cocoa person, except during camping trips, but for some reason, that's all I want to drink! 

This week, I feel nauseated at the thought of:

• Chicken... still...  I'm hoping that goes away soon.  

13 weeks

An Indian Prayer

One of the nice things about working for Providence is that it's a deeply spiritual organization.  Technically, it's Catholic and was founded by nuns, but in practice it's pretty non-denominational.  Every day begins and ends with a prayer over the loud speaker - 8 am and 8 pm.  Every meeting begins with a reflection.  And these prayers and reflections come from a wide variety of beliefs and religions, but they all have one thing in common:  the idea that we are all connected and loved by a God, and that our duty in life is to honor that connection in our interactions with each other and with the earth. 

I got this in my inbox yesterday as part of a mass email update on the Epic project.  I loved it so much, I wanted to share with those of my friends and family members that share my spiritual leanings.

An Indian Prayer

O’Great Spirit, whose voice I hear in the winds, and whose breath gives life to all the world, hear me!  I am small and weak, I need your strength and wisdom.

Let me walk in beauty, and make my eyes ever behold the red and purple sunset.

Make my hands respect the things you have made and my ears sharp to hear your voice.

Make me wise, so that I may understand the things you have taught my people.

Let me learn the lessons you have hidden in every leaf and rock.

I seek strength, not to be greater than my brother, but to fight my greatest enemy – myself.

Make me always ready to come to you with clean hands and straight eyes.

So when life fades, as the fading sunset, my spirit may come to you without shame.

Week 12

So I think the answer to Week 10's question was that I was just getting fat.  The bump that I thought was a baby bump is no longer there, so I'm saying it was a bloating bump instead.  This week has gone by so quickly, and smoothly.  I've told everyone at work now, and they are all super excited and very supportive.  I feel a bit silly for worrying at all that I was going to have to quit my job or I would be forced out if I couldn't travel.  They actually said they really value me, and are giving me more responsibility.  I'm going to be in charge of scheduling the whole team, and I'm going to be lead CT (Credentialed Trainer) when a PT (Principaled Trainer) is not around.  I'm so relieved that things are going to be ok with my job.

In other news, I'm at 12 weeks which officially ends the first trimester.  Though if we're being mathematically fair, it should be 13 weeks, so I'm not sure which genius did the calculations there.  But this means that I'm mostly out of the "danger zone" of miscarriage, and I'm feeling more comfortable with this newfangled state of being.

I'm constantly blown away at the baby's growth.  Not just the rate of growth, but the fact that the baby is basically growing itself!  If I had to be in charge of making sure the baby had all the right organs, limps, ligments, blood vessels, joints, etc. it would be a disaster of the FUBAR degree.  It's just so crazy to think that there is another person growing inside me right now.  I wish I had the words...  Anyway, on to the good stuff!

What Baby T has been up to this week:  

• Ok so one minute I look and my app says baby is the size of a lime. The next minute it says it's the size of a large plum.  My OB said baby was the size of a large green grape.  I have no idea what the truth is anymore!
• Most bodily structures and systems are finished forming
• Baby is starting to flex it's digestive muscles - which I can only assume means it's practicing pooping...
• Baby's pituitary gland is producing hormones and the bone marrow is producing white blood cells
• Fingers and toes are starting to open, close, and curl, and eyes are starting to squinch

Pregnancy symptoms include:

• The usual: digestive complications, mild nausea in the mornings, food aversions
• Headaches
• Frequent trips to the bathroom

This week I love to eat:

• Smoothies
• Fruit
• Cheese
• Taco Bell.  Specifically the Beefy 7 Layer Burrito. MMMM-mmmm!  
• Cap'n Crunch with Crunchberries

This week, I feel nauseous at the thought of: 

• Chicken
• Chili - but that may be because I ate chili for too many days in a row after the Super Bowl
• Salad

Week 11

We got to hear the baby's heartbeat yesterday!!  It was completely amazing...  My OB used "the good" Doppler since it was still pretty early, and told us not to freak out if we didn't hear anything, but the heartbeat came through loud, and strong, and clear!  At first, we heard a faint, slow heartbeat and I went "ooh!" and looked up and Bryann.  OB said no, that's MY heartbeat - weird that I could hear it in my pelvis - then she found Baby and the heartbeat was crazy fast and loud.  I started laughing, and of course the Doppler jiggled all about and made those obnoxious microphone noises when someone is scratching at it, so I had to calm down and let my OB get re-positioned   She found Baby again pretty quickly and commented that Baby was being really cooperative.  I made a joke that I hoped Baby would stay that way, but when I heard the heartbeat again I started crying.  Then laughing.  Then I had to really concentrate and hold still because Baby was moving and my OB had to dig around to find the heartbeat again so we could hear it for any extended amount of time.

Ugh, it was so incredible.  I can't see anything, or feel anything, but there's this super loud, super fast heart beat coming through at 158-170 beats per minute.  Bryann mentioned afterward that we should have (and dad asked if we had) taken a video, but I'm OK that it was just us in that moment together.

There's really not much else to report.  I haven't told anyone at work yet, and I swear you can see a baby bump forming, even though the multitude of books and apps say I won't show for another couple of weeks.  I'm still nervous about telling work, but I just need to have faith that I'm at a good company, surrounded by good people.

What Baby T has been up to this week:

• The head is the fastest growing body part this week
• Hair follicles and nail beds are developing
• Baby's torso is stretching and lengthening.  Apparently Baby is doing somersaults and forward rolls in there.  I wouldn't know it...  
• Baby is also developing sex organs.

Pregnancy Symptoms include:

• The usual suspects: digestive issues, morning nausea
• Skin breakouts... joy...  

This week, I love to eat:

• Fruit
• Smoothies
• Earl Grey Tea
• 7 Layer Bean Dip
• Applesauce
• Cheese

This week, I feel nauseated at the thought of:

• Chicken
• Vegetables
• Olives

Me at 11 weeks