Turner Blogcast Station: Time

“Fifty years," I hackneyed, "is a long time." "Not when you're looking back at them," she said. "You wonder how they vanished so quickly.”

― Isaac Asimov, I, Robot

If I had a box just for wishesAnd dreams that had never come trueThe box would be emptyExcept for the memoryOf how they were answered by you

But there never seems to be enough timeTo do the things you want to doOnce you find themI've looked around enough to knowThat you're the one I want to goThrough time with

― Jim Croce, Time in a Bottle

People sometimes say they get flashes of their lives past. I often get flashes of my future. My life has passed before my eyes, and suddenly I'm my mom, 62 with my first grandchild. And I'm filled with joy. Or I'm my grandmother, 92 with my first great-grandchild. And I'm filled with joy.

Getting older is no longer this far away, hypothetical. It's very real to me now, and I can almost taste what it's like to be at the end of my life. And it almost makes me cry. Not because I'm sad to see my life over, but because my life has been so full of wonderful blessings.

I'm married to a most wonderful man, the love of my life, and I did actually look around enough to know that he's the one I want to go through time with. We're coming up on 10 years of being together, then apart, then together, then apart, then together again. (hahah) And recently we've been incredibly blessed with a happy, healthy, bouncing baby girl, light of our lives, apple of our eyes. We are surrounded by friends and family who love us, and we both currently have jobs we love. I know life/marriage/parenthood will not always be easy, but I know I'm in the right place, and I've found the right people.

My box for wishes and dreams is empty. When I flash forward and get visions of the end of my life, I am filled with joy. I know these years ahead of me will pass faster than I'd like, but so far I have no regrets. I hope I can hold on to this sense of calm and never doubt I'm on a blessed course.