Day 4 of knowing

I've had a few days to let the news sink in.  I'm still not to the "elated" stage, but I'm getting slightly more used to the idea.  We had our first appointment with our OB, to confirm the pregnancy and talk about next steps.  I was in on December 6th to meet her, establish a PCP relationship, get my yearly exam, and I talked to her about us possibly thinking about maybe starting a family soon.  I think I had already suspected I might be pregnant, just from the timing of everything, not from actually feeling pregnant yet.  I don't remember when I called to find a PCP... it couldn't have been after the conception...  But anyway, I called the Providence line and just asked the operator to find me a female PCP near where I lived, and that's how I got hooked up with Dr. Darla Stupey.  I was excited to see she was an OB and a family practitioner before I even went in because I figured she could take care of everything I would ever need.  And I guess she will.
So anyway, Bryann and I went back in today and the nurse teased me a little bit about how she had JUST seen me and how funny it was that I had been talking about maybe getting pregnant, and how I was probably already pregnant when I came in, and how there was another patient in the exact same situation - had come in super recently about prenatal stuff and then come in a few weeks later pregnant.
So I figure it's all fate, or God, or the Universe working things out the way they were meant.  I tend to do my part and leave things up to the Universe to guide me, and it has all worked out so far, so why would now be any different.  I called the Providence operating system and asked for a female PCP.  They found me an OB.  I think I secretly WANTED to be pregnant at the time.  I was hopeful. I was reading blogs about drinking and caffeine before pregnancy the whole next week.  I took a pregnancy test the following weekend because I'd read that results could show up in a week to 10 days.  It came out negative and I was slightly disappointed, but honestly, mostly relieved.  Because I didn't think it was a good time, and we had a good plan in place - get Bryann through school, work down our loans, get our jobs established, look at moving into a bigger house, THEN have baby.  Turns out those plans are not to be.  And I'm slowly becoming ok with that.  I'll work on it.  The more people I see that are EXCITED about me being pregnant, the more excited I am.  Though I haven't reached excited stage yet.  It still feels foreign and weird and like a crazy dream that I'll wake up from.  I was talking to Annie last night after book club, about pregnancy stuff, and I had a weird moment where I was floating up out of my body and looking down at myself talking about pregnancy and thinking how weird I sounded, and thinking why was I faking all of this?  Weird, huh?  Anyway, it's hard to know what I really feel right now.  I go back and forth between being excited and being terrified of how we'll make it work.  But I keep thinking this must be the right time for us, whether we know it, or think so, or not.
Bryann is at the elated stage.  He's so happy.  and it makes me happy to see him happy.  I'm glad one of us is excited about this.  Maybe if I start talking to the baby...
Last thing, a funny story I couldn't find a place to put in.  When we were visiting the OB, the nurse was asking about symptoms, and when my last period was, and how was I feeling now, and Bryann is sort of smiling, smirking in the corner of the room.  When the nurse leaves, he starts giggling and says "you guys were just talking about your p...puh... period!"  What a child  :-p  I'm going to have two babies on my hands.  I'm so glad for him though.  He makes me smile and keeps me laughing and keeps me positive.
It's weird to think I'll be celebrating Mother's Day for real this coming year...